USA "3 letters" and Russian or where do they even find such morons?

I am sitting and looking at a CNN article in despair (while most of Russia is probably laughing like there is no tomorrow).

It is THIS article

While it is an obvious F... Again in Russian, the F...Again does not stop here. What is really depressing is that our great free press has once again failed to pick up the magnitude and the specifics of the F... Again. That is not surprising as they share the same HR criteria for hiring of anyone writing something Russian related with the people who posted the advert. Namely, Rabid and pathological russophobia is a requirement. That is usually difficult to find in a proper Russian speaker so they hire numpty nimkompoops which cannot even spell - as in the adverts in question.

So, let's go through them and point to everything CNN has missed:

The spelling mistakes are marked in green. That is 4 spelling mistakes in one line. It is also a trivial line - the kind you write in first grade in a Russian school.

While this advert looks like the worst ad one can imagine, it actually isn't. It is only the start. Here are the other ones (linked to original sources who re-published them after scraping from facebook).

So... what is wrong with them? For an Englishman - nothing. That is to be expected because they are verbatim dumb 1:1 translations of English catchphrases. For a Russian speaker of sufficient proficiency - quite a lot, because a Russian will never say it this way. The "time to make a move" meme combined with Chess simply does not map to Russian.

Further to this, they actually play chess there. They are also on average better than us at it and are much more cynical than us. Personally, I do not quite see the wisdom of having an advert about a life changing career decision which depicts a lone king against all of enemy pawns. Or maybe the idea is to suggest becoming a pawn to be sacrificed in a bigger game? Sheer unadulterated genius... Where do we find the idiots which come up with such tripe.

The same is valid about bridges. "Build Bridges" does not directly map into Russian especially if you translate it literally. This is doubly so considering that the specific translation used by the idiot who wrote this ad is usually used only in a military context for temporary beach-head bridges. So, instead of the likely intended meaning of "build understanding" the actual meaning as written is "build us a bridge to the beach-head so we can go snuff some of your compatriots".

Even if we ignore the "bridge to beach-head" meaning for a second, a bridge in the context of a 3 letter agency for a Russian would be associated with a hostage exchange as done in East/West Berlin in the cold war.

Dumb, dumber, dumbest to the extreme.

The scariest thing here is that we are supposed to believe the "in-depth analysis" and investigations of people who are as clueless and incompetent as those who write these ads or respond to them.

We are expected to believe someone who was selected to match complete lack of cultural understanding, who does not know the language and makes 4 spelling mistakes in 8 words.

Facepalm does not describe this. Double facepalm does not describe it either. It is not even implied facepalm.

We truly live in an idiocracy where having an F... Again is a job requirement for an "3 letter analyst"